Threatened in a good way

So pretty much a lovely woman sat me down the other day and told me that this was my last chance, the last chance for me to back out of giving my life away to OYM for the next year... I imagined the freedom I would have to...take boring classes at Longview, to work full time and also have the ability to have a part time job, to not have to ever talk about my emotions or have friends that were to close. TO have the freedom to stay where I am emotionally and not have to grow and change, to be able to continue on with life as I know it, lonely and dark and depressing quit often...I decided to take the red pill, although in a few weeks I may comment that I should have opted for the blue pill...but I don't think so. Choosing to do OYM may turn into one of the best decisions I have made since deciding to move to Colorado...perhaps it will even end up being a rather profound life changing experience? Time will only tell, all I know is that I need life to change, I hate my life as it is right now, something or someone definitely needs to stage an intervention because I feel like i am drowning. You know the feeling, you can remember at age five or whenever, wandering just a little to far into the deep end of the pool, suddenly feeling the ground leave your feet, barely staying afloat you realized that you and you alone were the only person able to keep you from drowning at that moment, for a second you hesitated on the surface, then inevitably your head would duck under the water before you would kick and bring yourself back up again, but then someone would jump in the pool and a wave would push you under again. This would happen until some person happened to swim past you and see you struggling, or, luckily, you found that you swam/kicked far enough back to the shallow side where you can stand again. But right before that moment of intervention came, whatever it was, you felt you were going to drown...that is the moment I am in, that is how I feel right now, I am about to drown, but I can feel the moment getting closer, the moment of intervention where I will be saved. I felt that I came closer to that intervention when I chose to give my life to OYM for the next year. Only when I made that decision did I realize that I need this, I need OYM. God is not laughing in my face, this is his plan for me, his good and perfect plan. I don't agree with some religious people who believe that God does not have this perfect path laid out for you. I most assuredly believe that God has a perfect path laid out to benefit me in the best possible way, it is only when I choose to leave that path that God has to make alterations to the perfect path he had planned out for me already. These alterations may not seem awful or terrible, but they are not good and perfect as the original design God made. So I will try not to choose my own path but follow the one He already has for me and  hope that I am listening to him when I make my decisions, sometimes fear can deceive....Don't listen.