This is it, No lies

I am so frustrated right now. I don't know what's wrong with me? I used to have such a fire for life, such a passion to live. When I was in Colorado I really thought I was going somewhere, I had dreams and aspirations. I was going to major in fashion merchandising at C.S.U., and I knew I was going to be great! I was prepared to work my heart out to get what I wanted, and then it was all taken away... so suddenly? Now, I just don't know what to do. I have no desire to do anything, I am so depressed and just so discouraged. I have nothing to work for here, I am so confused and so lost. God has reduced me to mold-able clay, but with that has come such discouragement, there was a fire in me, once raging, that has now been reduced to barely lit coals. The potential for fire is still there, but there is nothing to light it with and no fuel to keep it lit. Satan has been having a field day with me these past two years, pulling me left and right. I worked so hard for something in Colorado that was taken from me and now, I find myself getting to a place where I am very close to giving up, on everything. I am tired of fighting the devils' lies. I am tired of searching for my calling, my career, my passion. I don't think it exists here? I don't know where it exists, somewhere I hope. I don't know when I will find it, but I am so tired of looking and coming up empty. I feel like a beautiful silver case made to hold beautiful things, that has been taken out side and lost in the childrens' sandbox. There I lie, rusting in the rain, losing all the value I once held. So here I am, so tired, wondering who will come and rescue me out of the sand box, or if I will just stay here, forever. Eventually being buried, covered over and forgotten forever. I'm sorry to be so depressing, but this is truly how I feel, no lies, no masks. This is it.